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Know what you agree on.

Free to start · One $39 payment per pair · No subscription

Before the next big step. Answer separately, then compare money, family, conflict and commitment.
Find out where you stand ↓

Start together. Or start with yourself.

Couple Assessment

Two people, separate answers

For two people building something serious.

See how it looks →
9:41
Money4 of 36

When money gets tight, what do you do first?

Talk to my partner straight away
Cut back quietly on my own
Ask family for help
Put off thinking about it
I have not decided yet
Prefer not to answer
Only you see your answers
Continue
Pair Report

See what needs a talk

One private report for both of you.

See how it looks →
9:41

You and Sam

AllNeeds attention
MoneyWorkable
FamilyShared
ConflictTo talk
KidsOpen
CareerShared
Daily lifeWorkable
Private Passport

Know what you want first

A private profile of your priorities. Free.

See how it looks →
9:41

Your Passport

Private
Your priorities
KidsYes, two
MoneySave first
HomeNear family
TravelTwice a year
Edit priorities

You may already know how you feel.

The useful part is finding out whether your partner means the same thing.

– The BeforeVows team

You answer alone.

They answer alone.

No pressure.

Then you look at the results together.

Meet the Couple Assessment.

Two answers, one report

Two women smiling by a van near the sea
Two men walking with their arms around each other
Two women laughing together on a beach
A smiling couple in front of an orange wall

You both answer the same core questions, on your own, in 15–20 minutes. Couple Assessment keeps your answers private until you both finish, then turns them into one report. Less guessing. More talking. The kind of conversation that’s good either way.

A little clarity goes a long way

Pair Report

Where you stand

BeforeVowsPair Report

You and Sam

Between your expectations
Money: Workable range
“You agree on the shape. You differ on the number.”

Your results are organized by topic. Pair Report shows what’s shared, what’s workable, what needs a decision, and what neither of you has settled yet. No score. No verdict. Just a place to start.

Know what you want first

Two people relaxing against a wall with a laptop
Two women smiling under an arch
Ok, I know what I want. Now we can talk.

Before you compare with anyone, Private Passport helps you get clear on your own priorities, expectations and boundaries. Keep it for yourself, or share a code and compare when you’re both ready.

Our approach to privacy

Private answers, mutual approval, separate connections and deletion on request, all close at hand. Built to help you stay in control at every step.

Private

Keep it
private.

Your partner gets the comparison, not a page showing every answer you chose.

Share my answers
Off. Only you can see them.
Mutual

Both
say yes.

A Pair Report is not created until both people finish and agree to connect.

YouReady
SamReady
Create Pair Report
Separate

Stay
separate.

Someone connected to you cannot see anyone else you invited or compared with.

With SamReport
With JoNot connected
Each connection is separate
Revocable

Change
your mind.

Revoke a connection and request deletion of your account and data at any time.

Revoke connection
Delete my account and data

Start at any stage.

Long-term fit isn’t interests and photos.

Relationship science points to conflict repair, emotional patterns and personality. We turn that into a lens you can use.

John Gottman, PhD

Conflict repair, not just “chemistry.”

How you fight and come back matters more than how you fall in love.

Bowlby → adult attachment research

How you reach for closeness, or space.

Under stress, your pattern shows up long before the lease.

Big Five (OCEAN)

Personality traits, not zodiac.

Stable patterns in how you decide, plan and react. The stuff dating bios never measure.

Eight parts of a shared life people often discuss too late.

MoneySaving, spending, debt, who pays for what.
ConflictHow you argue, repair and cool off.
FamilyParents, in-laws, how close is close.
CommitmentTimeline, expectations, what ready means.
CareerAmbition, hours, moving for a job.
KidsWhether, when, how many, how raised.
Daily lifeHome, chores, rhythms, social energy.
IntimacyCloseness, needs, how to ask.

One pair. One payment.

About the cost of one date to unlock.

Couple Assessment
$39 per pair
  • Questions matched to your stage
  • Eight areas of shared life
  • One Pair Report for both people
  • Conversation prompts from your results
  • Print or save as PDF
  • One payment. No subscription.
Start now — $39
Private Passport
Free
  • Your priorities in one place
  • A private profile you control
  • A personal connection code
  • Separate comparisons for separate connections
Build a Passport

If your partner does not finish within 30 days or declines, you can use your payment once more with someone else.

Ok but… why BeforeVows?

It started because two people we know almost got married without ever asking each other the important questions. Not because they didn’t love each other. There was never a natural moment to bring up the money, the family, the conflict patterns, the plans that had been sitting quietly for years.

We built this for the moment before the moment. Not a personality quiz. Not a dating app. A structured, private way for two people to see where they align and where they need language.

— The BeforeVows team

A BeforeVows founder
A BeforeVows founder
Two friends laughing over a laptop by the river

Any questions? Everyone has at least one.

Is this therapy?

No. It is a conversation tool, not therapy, counseling, legal or financial advice.

Who sees my answers?

Only you. Your partner sees the comparison, never a copy of everything you selected.

Do we both have to pay?

No. One payment of $39 per pair unlocks the Pair Report for both of you.

We are not engaged yet. Can we use it?

Yes. Stages start at dating seriously and go through engaged and premarital.

Can I delete everything?

Yes. Revoke any connection and request deletion at any time.

Why no refunds, and what is the pair credit?

Payments are not refundable. If your partner does not finish within 30 days or declines, you can use your payment once more with someone else.

Can I download or print the results?

Yes. Print or save your Pair Report and decision sheet as PDF from inside the app.

You’ve read enough. Go find out.

Free to start. Private by default. BeforeVows is a conversation tool, not therapy, counseling, legal advice, financial advice or emergency support.

YouSamShared